If married women knew that their married men are the main clients of the sex workers, probably they would change the way they treat their husbands.
When I started staying in the Avenues, I was so shocked by the number of sex workers I saw there. So I asked myself some questions: why are there so many sex workers in this area? Does it mean they have so many clients? Who are their clients? There is no way they could be as many, if they were not making any money.
In my quest to find the truth, I came across a certain place in the Avenues that had so many sex workers waiting for their clients. I was like, “this makes no business sense, why would they all be at the same place when they could be everywhere else, so they can spread the competition?”
There were about 60 sex workers at that place. All of them standing waiting for their “pick-up”.
But I reasoned, “60 people can’t be mad by being all at one place”, let me see how it goes. Cars started coming and picking them, one by one. After about half-an-hour of observation, less than 15 sex workers were left. The rest were gone!
They were picked, not just by your old, outdated cars – I saw big cars, the latest Range Rovers, Mercs and BMWs. I was particularly intrigued as to the kind of clientele, they were not ordinary people. And I was also checking their ages, these were men in their late 30s, 40s, and early 50s.
These were, presumably, married men with families at home.
But how come they were picking sex workers when they had wives? That can be answered by each and every one of the men, as each might have had his own reasons for opting for sex workers.
For some, it could just be a bad habit that was allowed to grow, lacking self-control. For some, they slept with a lot of women before they got married so they always want to experience more.
In my discussions with men later on, I realised that some married men prefer sex workers than having proper affairs with “small houses” because they don’t want commitment. They don’t want something serious because they don’t want to be caught by their wives.
Dating requires effective communication and commitment which often leads to discovery of the affair by the wife but “affairs” with sex workers are a one-off transaction.
So for those 60-or-something sex workers were not wrong in standing at that particular place. In no time all of them were picked. Those who struggled to be picked, it was either they were no longer marketable or maybe they were charging too much because I kept seeing cars stopping and negotiating.
If they didn’t agree, you would see the guy calling a different woman until a deal was done.
I was kind of disturbed, by what I saw. We often look at sex workers and may say many things about them though we don’t ask who their clients are. When you see sex workers, definitely there has to be the other side of the coin.
No-one would go to a certain place all the time without getting a deal. The men that pick different sex workers in the Avenues are also men we see at different work places, with fancy cars. Many of them own businesses.
It is not usual that the common man pick sex workers in the Avenues at night because you need a car and you need money to pay for their services. So it turned out that the clients are not always common people. They are also well-to-do married men.
Somehow, when I see women that are married to rich men relaxing I get so concerned. Is it that these women are disrespecting their husbands to the extent of denying them conjugal rights?
Probably it is because rich men are on demand, they have so many women that are trying to get their attention by trapping them or by positioning themselves in these men’s lives?
Or probably the women married to rich men are always moody, interacts roughly, on top of denying him conjugal rights?
But does this justify the man, who is treated like this, to say “surely I deserve better than this, there are other women out there who can offer me the same things that my wife are denying me?” and then look for sex workers?
Usually, when a marriage between a rich man and his wife reach such heights, the blame game starts, without anyone really asking what could have triggered the scenario.
Could it be the women caused their husbands to look for sex workers? Are they the same women we see going to prophets, trying to fix their marriages?
King Solomon says “a foolish woman destroys her own house by her own hands”. Why would these men seek the services of sex workers, considering the risks that afflict such transactions?
The best way to punish a man is never to deny him conjugal rights. Denying him will push him to the “Avenues” to get quick service but there are consequences, for both man and wife, from such escapades.
Brian Matsaira is a love and relationships coach and can be reached on brianmatsaira@gmail.com